spermbanker:

u know when u cold n ur nipnops go hard. why my titty betray me

(via ryanvallejo)

sorelatable:

hate when i lose something and my parents says “well i guess u didnt care about it enough” like you’ve lost me in a grocery store before 

(via hazwaters)

rnicrophone:

bombing:

cop: who the hell ordered all these pizzas

me: you said i got one phone call

image

(via ruinedchildhood)

saassu:

Lets have a romantic dinner

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(Source: kingtavros, via ruinedchildhood)